The 9th Week

30.12.2010
Last day of internship.

Today is same as Monday.
Today is same as Tuesday.
Today is same as Wednesday.
Today is same as Thursday.
Today is same as Friday.

Today is just as usual.
Today is nothing special.
Today is just like today.

It reminds me of my 1st day.
I hate my work.
I am not interested with it.
Cause I always think that it is something that anyone can do it pretty ass good than me.
I am just nothing good at it.

But, now I realized.
I am capable to do far better than my own expectation of myself.
I mean better is not the same meaning of being the top or the best or a pro or whatsoever.
I tried my best to do anything I could and I think I did.
And, I eventually think that I had exceed the limit of my capabilities sometimes.
I could seriously really stress out myself that I thought that I would never do that to myself.
Sick of complaining and the impatient of mine always.
The road is still way too far to complete to become a real person.
It takes your time. It takes your energy. It takes all what you've got.

I never think of being the great one.
I never wanted to be the outstanding one.
Never. ever.

Today, now, this moment.
I want to be something good.
I want to be someone's favorite.
I want to be somewhere special.

I want to improve. More. I need to be improve. A lot.


Today, I have no emotions.

Confusing of feelings.
Suppose to be happy that I finally ended this internship and it's back to uni life again.
Suppose to be sad that I am leaving some people that we've just build up our friendship.

Complexity of feelings.
I hate to go to work cause I hate my lame duties.
I like to go to work cause I like my new friends.

Confession of feelings.
I like to work too, just sometimes.
I hate to hide my feelings, it's depressing sometimes when you can't tell how you feel cause it's shouldn't be, it's restricted.

Well, that's the end of 2010.

Goodbye '10
See ya in 2011.