Everytime people ask me why I study this course and I'll pause for few seconds to think how I suppose to tell or I'll just put on a wide smile on my face rathan giving a void answer. Sometimes I will just said the job opportunity is high. This is how my mom told me the last time when I were struggling to choose which course to study after my foundation course. However, today, I am having problem to find a job. There are three reasons why I am having this kind of problem. First of all, I am searching for internship job that the duration is only for two months. Most company don't give a damn thing to hire people that only work for 2 months only. Second reason is they do not need any workers already, they have enough intern to work for them. The last reason is a problem in my own. I do not have good accounting knowlegde and I suck during interview. About the interview today, I have no idea what have came out from my mouth. Once again, my brain cannot function well when speaking English. I don't even understand my words and how people suppose to understand what I am trying to say. I can feel that I am ruining the whole thing. It's a mess. Talking is so-o-o not my thing. Alright, I just suck with interview, okay?
Honestly, I feel worry and insecure. More specifically, I am scared. I am starting to worry about future. I got a really bad feelling after what I've done for my interview today. I feel like I have no guarantee for my life anymore. I am afraid of jobless. Even if after I have graduated from university and I have a degree certification, so what? I am losing confidence and how I suppose to work because I am really suck at accounting? I don't know if there is any other suitable job for me to do if I don't involve myself in the accounting area. Feel really bad about all of these shit. Yea, I know I am not suppose to be like this. People will prabable tell me, "It's just ONE interview only, no big deal."
I called many company after I went back to home today. Still the same, zero result. Called xm and sy.
Trying to cool down myself. Then, uncle yap called to comfort me too. So rare and unexpected. Actually his main purpose of calling with so sudden is to persuade me to go to the trip no matter how and what I been through today. And, he told me the trip will be how meaningless if I didn't go together. Because, they got no one to bully. Now, can you see how they treat me normally? They seen to be losing fun and joy if they didn't tease or bully me for a day. Old people is like that. Totally understandable. But thanks for calling and talked to me anyway.
Having exam tmr. Need to focus on study. Throw this problem away first. Chao.
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